It’s a fake!

I have concluded that “trust” is an illusion. A comforting story that we tell ourselves in order to cope with the actual state of being – complete and total uncertainty. Perhaps it is overly pessimistic to think in these terms, but you truly cannot even rely on the ground beneath your feet, given earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanoes, etc. Yes, these things are quite appropriately called “disasters” and are infrequent, nevertheless, they do happen.

More to the point, “trust” between people is the most glaring of illusions. Unless science develops a way to read each and every electrical signal in someone’s brain, knowing, for a fact, that individual’s true thoughts and intentions is never going to be possible.

This is complicated even more by the tendency people have to operate by desire, or whim, rather than careful consideration of consequences and repercussions. Now, there are sets of consequences, and unique consequences. A unique consequence might be stubbing a toe due to a lack of attentiveness while on the way to the bathroom at 5am. A set of consequences might be additionally falling over, hitting your head, then being late to work, or even worse, in the emergency room and unable to pay the bill.

Regardless of what someone tells you, or what they might indicate, until the act is completed, you can never truly be sure what they will do, or how they will behave.

Pain, in contrast to “trust”…that is a certainty. At some point, in every person’s life, there will be pain, perhaps minor, maybe gargantuan. The true measure of the soul, though, seems to be how one reacts to this pain. Do you turn it into suffering, or do you strive to make things as good as they can be, or at the very least, as bearable as they need to be in order to live with some modicum of sanity.

Whatever the case, betrayal causes needless pain, pain that can be easily avoided by making intentions fully clear and explicit. But without those explicit intentions, there is never really anything that deserves the word “trust”.

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momentous

in moments such as these
choose hardship over ease

only the truest friend
will follow through to the end

each day is a test
keep company with the best

be wary of the rest

tallied

wasted are the moments in anger
tasted are the feelings of despair

haste used to make the choices
paste is tried to keep things together

faced are the fears of letting go
spaced are the moments of vulnerability

Eerily Calming

nature reclaims all
no matter how large or small

Tuesday

my irrational fear of carpenter bees is interfering with my wandering aimlessly through my spaceship in nothing but my bathrobe while the neighborhood robots wash their slippers in the turpentine I laid out for my pet dragon to drink after he hunts down the little girl that stole my balloons as revenge for the portrait of a rusted car that I hung in the foyer of her tree house which fell from the 30th floor when the porcupine decided to sell it on Amazon with a discount for anyone with a bionic leg except if blue-colored because his cousin doesn’t like quinoa when paired with Merlot or brie on saltines with flecks of kelp

it’ll be better tomorrow

‘cause it’ll be Saturday

Zhuangzi quote

노야 규 토마 사보하 / 톡어타 그히박
더서 규 가야 수라하 / 톡어타 나주박

noya kue tloma sapoha / tloketla kuhipak
tese kue kaya sualaha / tloketla natsuapak

be.happy like feather light-AUG / AG.NEG-P.4sg grasp-ABIL-NEG
suffer like world heavy-AUG / AG.NEG-P.4sg release-ABIL-NEG

Happiness is lighter than a feather, no one can grasp it.
Suffering is heavier than the earth, no one can let it go.
— Zhuangzi

Malagueña Salerosa – Chingon